I’ve been to one in Pattaya before with my mother (very funny story for many different reasons), but this one was much more grand. It had incredible costumes and set design. One of the sets was a jungle complete with waterfall, another was a giant sphinx with King Tut’s head. The “girls” themselves varied in believability, but for the most part it was pretty good. They sang and danced to songs in multiple languages, but for some reason the vast majority of the songs were Chinese. There was only one song in Thai and it was more of a comedy routine with a very heavyset kathooey and a lanky kathooey who were both pretty obviously men doing embarassing things to the men in the audience.

At one point, Hugh and I both noticed a girl who was just so… Japanese. We couldn’t put our finger on it at first, but there was something about her actions that made her seem just like the idol/models on Japanese variety shows. She was very pretty and had this doe-eyed look on her face. Even the way she clapped her hands freaked us out. We could have brought her to Japan and everyone would have just assumed she was some sort of magazine model.

After the show I realized what it was, it wasn’t her looks necessarily since other girls were just as pretty and “Japanese-looking” (it’s a pretty trendy way of dressing/styling oneself here), but it was the excessive expression of “femininity.” Kathooey (the good ones) are believable not just because of their looks, but because they have mastered the “act” of being a woman. On Japanese TV you see an endless parade of models doing “acts” of what is considered feminine in Japan: a mix of being helpless, childlike, demure, and often dumb (or at least extremely naive), but always beautiful. They don’t just say things that convey these ideas, but it’s in the smallest detail of how you sit, how you clap your hands, etc. After three years living in Japan, I found myself picking up some of these Japanese femininity cues.

It made me realize how absolutely important certain actions and gestures are to seeming masculine or feminine and makes me wonder how much of what we consider beautiful is based on these things as well. We saw plenty of kathooey on the streets who were physically pretty, but somehow didn’t cut it as beautiful. It’s interesting how the extra gestures can increase a woman’s beauty.

There’s no pictures in this entry because I wasn’t willing to pay a $6 tip per girl for a photo. =P And trust me, the minute you try and take a photo that’s when 10 of them jump in with you. I saw a poor guy shell out about $60 just because he wanted a keepsake, when he tried to protest they got pretty aggressive. Not super lady-like, but a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do…

Lemongrass, galangal, spicy wood, and many other things make up the base flavors of Lao food

Hey foodies! This post and photos are for you! In Luang Prabang, we decided to check out the cooking class by Tamarind (a restaurant) which was highly regarded (and turned out to be good).

The class started out with a market tour led by our Lao teacher, Jack. He pointed out various herbs, meats, and sauces used by Laotians (insert whinging by an annoying old Australian couple here about the cleanliness of the market and how awful it is to eat certain meats, waaaah). After that, we were taken to the riverside kitchen to cook.

Something I noticed before is that in Lao, most cooking is down over hot coals. Most people don’t have electricity at home and therefore, no stoves or ovens (remember, electricity only really came to Lao 15 years ago). Cooking is primarily done by grilling, stewing, or steaming. This is also one of the poorest, most isolated countries on earth so, traditionally, food is also very simple. The ingredient list might be quite long, but it’s all stuff that can be picked in your garden (or foraged from the forest/riverbank.)

Steaming sticky rice over coals, the Lao way of cooking

Another important point in Lao cuisine is the fact they use sticky rice to eat. They pull rice out of the steamer, then ball it up into their hands and dip it into different food. Therefore, Lao food tends not to be as soupy/creamy/oily as Thai food. Lao food tastes more “herby,” and what we discovered was that it was flavor overload for basically everyone.

On the menu were several dishes. Orlahm, is a traditional stew in Luang Prabang made with buffalo meat and basically every herb you can think of in huge quantities. It also contained something they call spicy wood, which is…wood. It was pretty weird eating wood, the outside is super bitter and spicy while the inside tastes like peppery chicken. It also makes your mouth feel like you’ve been injected with novacaine. I don’t feel any guilt in saying I’d never eat it again.

Hugh models a wonderfully marinated tilapia

We also made a delicious steamed Tilapia in banana leaves. Once again, the marinade was made up of every herb in existence. But it was really, really nice. A few little alterations and I could definitely add this to my dinner repetoire (the authentic way is a little too flavor country for me.)

Next was the technically difficult to make, stuffed lemongrass. How do you stuff lemongrass, you ask? Well. It was hard. But the results were delicious. Ingredients were minced chicken, lemongrass, every herb in existence (okay, okay–Lao basil, coriander, kaffir lime…oh geez, I don’t know.)

We also made our own spicy Lao dip and laap (a meat salad–I made mine with water buffalo meat). Hugh indulged in the fried worms/catepillars that were offered as a snack. I declined. Nonetheless, I knocked back a shot of lao-lao (aka moonshine) mixed with honey and orange. It still didn’t provide me the courage to eat the grubs though.

All in all, a very good use of the day. You know how they say the quickest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach? I always thought that saying had real meaning beyond men being really hungry. =P I believe food is a great way to understand someone, and a culture. Thailand knew this when they sent chefs all over the world to open up Thai restaurants: get people to love your food, and they will love your country (or at least they’ll be up for a visit.)

Grilling stuffed lemongrass while orlahm bubbles on the "stove"

Voila! Stuffed lemongrass and steamed tilapia

Hugh feeding our elephant some sugar cane

For the first part of our trek, we went to an elephant park that uses tourism dollars to try and save elephants from a hard life of logging (which I saw in Cambodia) or being poached. Letting humans ride on your back for an hour and then feed you treats is a much nicer job than dragging/shoving logs around. After our ride, we got to feed our elephant various treats. Ours really seemed to like sugar cane…

Our guide, Bunsai, and Hugh on our way to Houfy village

After the riding, we began our trek to a Khmu village in the hills. It was a relatively easy trek, but considering the heat and having to walk up and down a mountain it was still a bit rough. Our guide, Bunsai, pointed out the new rubber trees that Lao villages are growing to try and make more money, as well as various wild vegetables and grains. It was a really relaxing walk with only birds and buzzing insect sounds to listen to. Along the way, we saw villagers picking wood and forest goods and the sort…

A typical Lao meal: veggies, a main, and sticky rice

When we arrived at the village, we were taken to a special building they use for tourists. Houfy village is extremely poor, but they have lots of rice so they’re not hungry. Eco-tourism helps the village raise funds, and they’re careful not to bring too many tourists in. It was a little weird and felt a bit voyeuristic, but no one was putting on a show for us, and for the large part people completely ignored us (except for the children, but that’s children.)

Villagers building a new hut

While walking around the village, Hugh noted that many of the people (especially women) seemed far more interested in me than they were in him (a white guy). We wondered if it was because they looked at me and saw someone who looked like themselves, but was clearly living a vastly different life. I’m sure a lot of it was just general curiousity. What nationality or ethnicity was I? Why was I with a white guy anyways? Why am I wearing a tacky tourist t-shirt and exposing my arms to the sun?

Children doing hard labor

One of the most interesting things on our trek was seeing the children. We saw plenty of children laughing and playing, and many adorable children who seemed to take so much pleasure in just waving to us and shouting “sabaidee!!” We also saw children hard at work. On our way out of the village, we passed three small children under the age of 10 carrying bundles of wood. They had roped tied around the bundles and then wrapped around their foreheads, so the load was mostly bore on their heads. Our guide joked that the Khmu people had stong heads, but the Lao people had strong backs. He wondered if their necks get shorter from carrying things like that. I wondered if I could have carried the load right then and there (probably not.)

Elephants walking through Tad Sae waterfall

After the village, we trekked to Tad Sae waterfall, passing some smaller villages and elephant tracks along the way. When we reached Tad Sae, it was like entering some magical video game wonderland. The waterfall poured into aqua blue lagoons which poured into more. It was like infinity pool flowing into more infinity pools. The water was freezing, but clear and refreshing. It was definitely an excellent way to treat ourselves after walking for hours.

Best. Waterfall. Evar.

Just moments ago, the two novices sitting next to us were smiling at us and giggling over something written in English. Hugh tried to extend a helping hand, but they just smiled at him. When they finally got up to leave, they walked over to us and asked Hugh where he was from and all that in perfect English. They were especially excited to hear Hugh was from Melbourne, since there’s apparently a Buddhist temple there and one of the monks friends had been there. Funny conversation.

We passed lots of small rural Laotian villages and what struck me was that nearly every home, hut, or shanty had a satellite. I saw homes that looked like speaking above a whisper would send the entire thing crashing into a river, homes with probably no running water, yet they all had satellite televisions.

We arrived in Vang Vieng in one piece, but half expecting cracked out zombie stoners to be roaming the streets. Instead, the town is incredibly chilled out. The locals are extremely friendly and walking around town has been a pleasure. One of the best/worst things about Vang Vieng are all the TV bars. They’ve got TVs playing movies or TV shows and these big lounging platforms so you can lie on pillows and just zone out on TV (or something else.) We spent hours watching the Family Guy and just eating pizza. Now we’re in a bar (Hugh’s in a hammock) eating cheesy fries and watching the new Indiana Jones…

This has definitely been pretty awesome.

What I noticed pretty quickly is how familiar Vietnamese people are with one another. It’s nice, but also sometimes a bit surprising. I watched strangers offer bits of their food to other people’s children. I saw a lady help an old man into his seat, and later she was unfazed as the old man smacked her on the ass to get her to get out of the aisle. That wasn’t the only time I saw someone spank someone adult to get them to do something either.

At one point this giant moth was flying around the train. The Vietnamese didn’t care at all, didn’t even blink an eye. I’m not trying to be patronizing, but in Asia I’ve found people are generally (at least outside of the big cities) more “in touch” with nature. I know on any train in America people would freak out over a moth the size of someone’s hand. Needless to say, when the moth flew towards me I started trying to hide (but didn’t scream! I was trying!) while Hugh was attempting to catch it in a lunchbox, only to have an old lady come up and just grab it in her hand and THREW it to the back of the train (at a sleeping woman, lol.) She gave me a big grin. She saved me again from Mothra a few hours later.

Anyways, the train ride was surprisingly fun. Minus the 7 hours of blaring television showing pretty much the most GOD AWFUL television possible. I’m talking about Cholesterol Man attacking ladies while Barley Tea man comes to save the day (all live action, taking place on a stage.)