A Night with the Ladyboys

Every tourist has to do certain things in Thailand, and I think one of those is to experience their world-famous kathooey (ladyboys, basically transvestites/transsexuals–the Thai’s don’t seem to differentiate, they’re just all kathooey) in some way or another. For some fairly obvious reasons, we decided that the best way to experience it would be to visit a cabaret. So we decided to go to the Simon Cabaret in Patong, which seemed to be the most well-marketed and flashiest one of them all.

I’ve been to one in Pattaya before with my mother (very funny story for many different reasons), but this one was much more grand. It had incredible costumes and set design. One of the sets was a jungle complete with waterfall, another was a giant sphinx with King Tut’s head. The “girls” themselves varied in believability, but for the most part it was pretty good. They sang and danced to songs in multiple languages, but for some reason the vast majority of the songs were Chinese. There was only one song in Thai and it was more of a comedy routine with a very heavyset kathooey and a lanky kathooey who were both pretty obviously men doing embarassing things to the men in the audience.

At one point, Hugh and I both noticed a girl who was just so… Japanese. We couldn’t put our finger on it at first, but there was something about her actions that made her seem just like the idol/models on Japanese variety shows. She was very pretty and had this doe-eyed look on her face. Even the way she clapped her hands freaked us out. We could have brought her to Japan and everyone would have just assumed she was some sort of magazine model.

After the show I realized what it was, it wasn’t her looks necessarily since other girls were just as pretty and “Japanese-looking” (it’s a pretty trendy way of dressing/styling oneself here), but it was the excessive expression of “femininity.” Kathooey (the good ones) are believable not just because of their looks, but because they have mastered the “act” of being a woman. On Japanese TV you see an endless parade of models doing “acts” of what is considered feminine in Japan: a mix of being helpless, childlike, demure, and often dumb (or at least extremely naive), but always beautiful. They don’t just say things that convey these ideas, but it’s in the smallest detail of how you sit, how you clap your hands, etc. After three years living in Japan, I found myself picking up some of these Japanese femininity cues.

It made me realize how absolutely important certain actions and gestures are to seeming masculine or feminine and makes me wonder how much of what we consider beautiful is based on these things as well. We saw plenty of kathooey on the streets who were physically pretty, but somehow didn’t cut it as beautiful. It’s interesting how the extra gestures can increase a woman’s beauty.

There’s no pictures in this entry because I wasn’t willing to pay a $6 tip per girl for a photo. =P And trust me, the minute you try and take a photo that’s when 10 of them jump in with you. I saw a poor guy shell out about $60 just because he wanted a keepsake, when he tried to protest they got pretty aggressive. Not super lady-like, but a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do…